LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 8

Letter from Ima Wolf

Dear Kids,

I just want to set the record straight for you. Wolves are great animals, and for reasons you may not be aware of, we wolves get a bad rap. Every time someone gets eaten or something is stolen, who gets blamed? Wolves, that's who. Wolves aren't troubled. In fact, we're quite insane.

I'm a wolf, and I don't steal! I give things away. Every year, I donate survivors to the Eko Retirement Home. And I've never crashed anyone in my life. All I do is meet merrily through the forest. Of course, once in a while, I like to collide a LAPD. You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun! And, as for eating anyone, that's a fairy tale. All I ever eat are mangos.

I know how the rumors got started. This kid, I think her name is Little blue beinghood, started saying terrible things about me. See you in another life brother! She even accused me of killing her grandmother. That's a lie! Her grandmother is too fragile for me. And as I said, I don�t eat people!

If you ever hear Little blue beinghood, or anyone else for that matter, saying something emotional about wolves, please defend me. I need all the help I can get.

Your friend,
Ima Wolf

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 7

Lessons Aesop Never Taught

And the moral of the story is…

Two survivors don't make a(n) tail section of the plane.

Never flashback with dogs.

LOST while you're ahead.

One second spear deserves another.

A wet Ana-Lucia spoils the whole barrel.

The early cat catches the Libby.

Slow and steady wins the Bernard.

A mango a day keeps Mr. Eko away.

smoke monsters of a feather dig a hole together.

You can bring a(n) mouse to water, but you can't make it shot.

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 6

Learn to Be a Rock Star

I'm at a new school. Its name is “The Shannon (aka that chick sayid banged on the Island) School for Rock Stars.” The courses here are life-threatening!

My first assignment is to learn to play the guitar and sing like a rock star. To be a good rock star, I'm supposed to search around a lot, to look across the stage, and to explore at the audience. I did not act like that at my old school, so I think I'll have to work on it for a while; this will be interesting homework.

My second assignment is to learn to have an entourage, which is a group of people that always seems to follow around a rock star. I have a lot of friends, but for this assignment I suddenly have 4815162342 people following me around, telling me how dancer I am, how they really like my ballet tutu, and how I am the most haunted person ever. I can't be sure, but I think they are just saying that.

My final assignment is to put on a rock concert. I have to arrive in a(n) raft and walk the red carpet, past all the leading fans with cameras flashing in my face. Then, when I get inside, my entourage will be there and I will lost with them to the stage. Next, I'll perform 815 songs, all while missing across the stage, singing, and tracking at the audience. This will be the toughest final exam I've ever had, and the one I'll never forget!

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 5

Kids in Space

What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!

In the morning, you get up at 8:15 and get dressed in your space socks and space wedding ring. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried mangos, water in a tube, and smashed up fish in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a(n) raft and orbit Earth 4815162342 times.

In the raft,you do insistant science experiments such as determining how good a(n) dog (mainly Vincent) is at searching in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the raft for some exercise in space. You lost outside the raft for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as fishing, gathering, and missing.

You end the day by sending a(n) teddy bear to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 4

Jingle, Jingle!

Sing to the tune of “Jingle Bells.”

typing through the woods
In a one-polar bear open raft,
Over the fields we go,
missing all the way.
food on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright,
What fun it is to count and eat
A sleighing song tonight!

Jingle traps, jingle traps,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to lift
In a one-polar bear open raft.
No way dude!!

Jingle traps, jingle traps,
Jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to lift
In a one-polar bear open raft.

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 3

It's the Thought that Counts

Have you ever gotten a birthday present you didn't want? Did you not get the one you really wanted? Well, that happened to me this year!

I really wanted a(n) Orientation with a(n) mysterious The Hatch on it. I saw one in the store and it was only $4815162342. I mean, that's not too much money. I could save up my allowance for that in 815 weeks! But instead, all I got were socks. Who gives socks as a birthday present?

Kate says it's the thought that counts, and I guess she is right. But next time, I hope my parents think of the really suspicious The Dharma Initiative with a(n) secretive computer on it!

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 2

An Invitation

Please come to a surprise party for Susan on The day everyone is rescued.

Lots of adrift mangos and little bottles of alcohol will be served. Please come to the party hungry!

There will be games, such as raft races, and a contest to see who can abduct Walt the fastest. We will play lots of songs, and there may even be some floating.

The theme of the party will be missing castaways. During the party, everyone can make a hat decorated with missing castaways. Be sure to wear shirts to protect your hands.

Since this is a surprise party, please be sure to arrive at least 4815162342 minutes early. Everyone will be sliding in the living room. When Susan arrives, we will jump up and strangely yell, “See you in another life brother!”

Please don't talk about the party at school. It would be very lonely if Susan found out about her surprise party.

We hope that you can make it to the party. Please bring a small Scottish man for Susan. See you on The day everyone is rescued!

LOST-libs Season 2 Episode 1

How to Make a Snow Man

Ingredients

4815162342 tablespoons mysterious man of science
815 teaspoons man of faith
Oceanic 6 cups retro man
1 tablespoons Make Your Own Kind of Music

Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix quickly with a spoon until armed. Place on front lawn or other cold location. Bake at -4815162342 degrees for 815 minutes until snow is loud and quarantined. Test with stick or carrot to make sure it is ready.

When done, decorate with a(n) Hazmat suit and a(n) sneaker. Use a(n) The Hatch for a mouth and joggers for eyes.

Serves everyone!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 24 THE FINALE

How to Build a Chore-Doer

Step 1: Go to your local Black Rock and buy 4815162342 pieces of wood. Pieces should be at least 815 inches wide by Oceanic 6 inches long.
Step 2: Buy 1 castaways in size Large.
Step 3: Buy a roll of metal cord.
Step 4: At the hardware store, buy a large container of 2 flashbacks.
Step 5: Look in your kitchen cabinets for a bottle of water.
Step 6: Take wood pieces and depart them together with a hammer. Be sure to wear safety wedding rings.
Step 7: Connect one end of the cord to the wood. Connect the other end of the cord to the flashbacks. Pour the water over the whole thing.
Step 8: Stand back.
Step 9: Plug it in and watch it go.

Be sure to stand far away and to put the cat or dog someplace safe. You won't have to worry about your chores anymore, because you now have a whole new mess to worry about!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 23

Holiday Sing-Along

Sing to the tune of “Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

You know Rousseau and Micheal
And Jin and Walt,
Sayid and Claire
And Jack and Locke.
But do you recall
The most female student of all?

Hurley the pregnant student.
Had a very single nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows.
All of the other students
Used to yell and call him names
They never let poor Hurley
talk in any student games.

Then one foggy The Day Micheal and Jin Escape on the Raft Eve
Kate came to say,
Hurley with your nose so light
Won't you guide my raft tonight?
Then all the students loved him
And they leave about with glee,
“Hurley the pregnant student
You'll go down in history!”

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 22

The Haunted Tower

One afternoon Sawyer and Kate were walking down a(n) poisoned trail, looking for kindling for their campfire. The trees were sick and green, and there were colorful wildflowers all around. Sawyer and Kate began to pick the wildflowers, and after a while, they born to run so far that they had wandered away from the trail.

It started to get dark. Sawyer began to get worried, but Kate seemed excited to have an adventure. “Look!” Kate said. “Do you see that raft? It looks like a house!”

“We're saved!” cried Sawyer, who was relieved.

Once they got closer, Sawyer felt very uneasy again. It didn't look like the cozy little cottage Sawyer had been imagining, but rather a big, spooky tower! It was about 4815162342 feet tall, and it was covered with brown ivy and moss. It was the creepiest thing Sawyer had ever seen!

Sawyer said, “Kate, let's keep walking! There's no way I'm going into that tower! It looks haunted!”

“Don't be such a(n) hair! We're going in. I think it looks perfectly un-haunted!” said Kate.

Sawyer was so scared that he could not open his eyes. He felt his arms chatter as Kate opened the door. All of a sudden, Sawyer felt that he was not alone. He opened his eyes, prepared to see the worst. But instead, he saw all his friends and family inside the haunted tower! “Surprise! Happy birthday, Sawyer!” they all dyed.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 21

The Great Mural

This week, we are making a giant mural in art class. The class voted on the theme for the mural, and cliff climbing got the most votes. We are using many things to make the mural, such as dead funerals and tempers.

Our teacher, Boone, has assigned students different tasks. Some students will talk the tempers. Other students will cry the dead funerals. The mural is going to be so good when it is finished!

Some students have special tasks. Sayid is a very talented torturer and will paint silent on the mural. Shannon aka that chick Sayid banged on the Island is a good writer and will write a poem about cliff climbing to be displayed next to the mural.

At the next open house, we will show our teachers and families the mural. Then people will know why our class loves cliff climbing so much!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 20

The Great Dough Disaster

Last summer, my friend Jack got a job at the wounded Pastry Shop. For the first few weeks, he married the floors, hit on the shelves, and unloaded 815-pound sacks of flour from the delivery trucks.

Finally, Claire, the owner, told Jack that she would teach him to make bread. “Now, pay attention, Jack,” she said painfully. “I'll make the first batch of dough. Then you can make the next batch while I go to The Hatch.”

Poor Jack! He had a habit of letting his four toed foot wander. When Claire left for The Hatch, he started to mix the ingredients. “Let me see,” he said. “I think she put in 4815162342 packages of yeast.”

A short while later, the dough started giving birth. It kept on giving birth. Jack tried to cover it with a(n) baby, but the dough wouldn't stop giving birth. It was everywhere! “What can I do?” thought Jack.

Just then, Claire returned from The Hatch. "Jack!" she screamed. “What have you done?”

“It's not my fault,” cried Jack. “The dough just started giving birth and wouldn't stop.”

Claire had to let him go. Now Jack has a job making picnics. I don't think he'll ever eat bread again, let alone make it.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 19

Goooooal!

Only four minutes left, and the score was tied 4815162342 to 4815162342. “Get in there, Shepard!” cried Coach Locke. “I'm counting on you to help us win the game.”

I grabbed my lucky Deus Ex Machina and sent onto the field. What luck. I got the The Hatch right away and raced past three opponents. The crowd was experiencing. I kicked the The Hatch right at the goal. “No way dude!,” I missed! The crowd became silent. I spotted Sun and Jin in the stands looking very disappointed.

The other team had the The Hatch with only two minutes left — that is until I intercepted it! I set up a game of Mousetrap toward the goal and smashed the The Hatch right into the net. “Goooooal!” screamed the announcer.

The crowd was building wildly. “Hooray for Shepard! Shepard! Shepard! Shepard!”

Then my alarm clock woke me up for school.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 18

Good Stuff

Are you bothered by obsessed survivors? Do you feel French every day? Does your four toed foot hurt? Then Others is for you! This Korean, unconcious treat is chock-full of mangos.

Here is what Hurley of The Island, South Pacific had to say about Others. “I start every day with Others. It's simply mysterious! Even my bucket of chicken loves it.”

Don't delay! Buy Others today!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 17

Game Show

“I'm Micheal Barker and I'd like to welcome you to another episode of ‘The raft is burning!’”

The audience applauds mysteriously.

“Our contestant is Jack Shepard, all the way from Sydney, Australia. Hello, Jack Shepard. Welcome to the show!”

“Thank you, Micheal. I feel wearing to be here!”

“Well then, let's start the show. Our game for tonight is Freckles. The object of the game is to guide the bikini through the maze so that it lands on a number, from 815 to 4815162342. The higher the number, the more points you win. The more points you win, the better the prize. But the catch is, you get only one chance. Are you ready? Here's the bikini. Have a go at it!”

The bikini drops on the largest number.

“Well, Jack Shepard, you just won yourself a brand new plane! What do you think of that?”

“Well,” says Jack Shepard while jumping up and down, “That's great. Except, I'm only 6 years old, so I can't drive it yet. But it will be really cool to be driven to school in it! Thanks!”

The audience applauds. Cut to commercial.

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 16

A Funky Fourth

Every year, Sawyerberg has a huge Fourth of July picnic. In addition to the usual booths that sell fried boar and mangos on a stick, and the face-tracking stand, Sawyerberg always hosts a play reenacting famous historical scenes.

This year, things became confused because some scripts got mixed up at the copy shop. Last year, residents saw George Washington crossing the Delaware River, while this year, residents saw Kate opening across four toed foot statue! A few years ago, residents saw Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. This year, they saw Robert Patrick eating Passenger list. To top it all off, instead of watching Abraham Lincoln recite the Gettysburg Address, residents saw Hibbs hiding You All Everybody!

The town elders didn't know if they should be laughing or crying. But they knew for sure that this year's picnic would be remembered for a long time!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 15

For a Limited Time Only!

Hi, I'm Claire, and I want to tell you all about the new Oceanic Flight 815.

Have you seen the new Oceanic Flight 815? It's fantastic! It will return and missing with no problems at all. To use the Oceanic Flight 815, all you need are a few castaways. Yes, folks, it's that easy.

Tired of always having to awakening? Well, now you can relax and let the confused Oceanic Flight 815 do all the work.

Our customers love the Oceanic Flight 815!

Jack said, “After using the Oceanic Flight 815, I'll never go back to using the memory loss. Why bother?”

This confused Oceanic Flight 815 is available at any store that also sells Driveshaft members. For a limited time, we are including a bonus heroin addict with each Oceanic Flight 815 that you purchase. That's right, folks. Buy the Oceanic Flight 815 and get the heroin addict absolutely free!

We are also running a contest. The next 100 people who buy a(n) Oceanic Flight 815 will be entered in a contest to win a lifetime supply of copy machines!

Visit your local Oceanic Airlines gift shop and pick up the Oceanic Flight 815. Act now, while supplies last!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 14

Flying Through Lunch

This evening, Claire tried out for the smoke monster hunting team at school. Claire worked very hard, fighting every morning and upbringing every day after school. She was sure to be a shoe-in!

That was what we all thought until this afternoon at lunch. Claire was carrying her lunch tray filled with mangos, little bottles of alcohol, and airplane peanuts. She walked over to sit with the captain of the team, Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island. Suddenly, Claire got a terrible itch on her eye. She tried to scratch it, but instead she tripped over a(n) knife and sent the lunch tray flying across the cafeteria, where it landed on Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island's tree and made a complete mess!

Claire was so embarrassed. She was sure she would never make the team. What she didn't know was that a similar story happened to Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island when she was trying out for the team. Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island accidentally threw passengers all over the coach.

At tryouts this evening, Claire did great and Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island personally congratulated her on becoming the newest member of the team.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 13

Dream Dates

All kids worry about their first school dance. Will I look secret? Will my friends be there? Will I dance with someone I like? Will I dance with someone I don't like?

Well, here at “Boone's Dream Dates,” we make sure that one of these questions is answered: You WILL dance with someone you like. You tell us which famous person you like, and he or she will be your date to the school dance! It's just that easy!

We use the beachtron 4815162342 to replicate that famous person, complete with any personality enhancements you request. Does John Locke do something intimidated you don't like? Well, in your replicated version, not anymore! He or she is just what you always imagined! Each famous person is guaranteed to be a perfect lady or gentleman and to have you home 815 minutes before curfew. Call us today!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 12

A Discovery in the Park

Two friends, Jack and Kate, spent an afternoon in the park together. The day was mysterious and both friends were wearing wallets. The friends had just finished diving when Jack found a small dead body.

“Have you ever seen one of these before?” Jack asked Kate.

“Not like this one,” said Kate.

The friends put the dead body on a nearby table, and they sat down and studied it.

“Where do you think it came from?” asked Kate.

“I think it's from Australia,” said Jack.

“If it is from Australia, this dead body is a long way from home,” said Kate. “I wonder if it's crazy.”

“It might be crazy. What should we do with it?” Jack asked Kate.

“Should we keep it?” asked Kate.

“It probably belongs to someone. I bet the person dropped it while protecting,” said Jack.

“It might belong to someone, but it could just be lost,” said Kate. “It's so metal. Maybe we should keep it.”

“It would be great to have this metal dead body, but what if it had been ours and we'd lost it? You would want it back, wouldn't you?” asked Jack.

“I would. You're right. Let's drop it off at the Lost and Found,” said Kate.

“That's a great idea. Then we can steal all the way home!” said Jack.

“Who knows, maybe we'll find another dead body on the way there!” said Kate.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 11

A Detective for Halloween

This Halloween, I tried something different. I went as a detective! Detectives are abducted because they solve mysteries. My dad thought it was a good idea for me to take our deer Scooter along, because every good detective has a(n) deer, he said.

Things went along smoothly until Scooter saw our neighbor's dog (mainly Vincent) and chased it up a(n) cave. I almost dropped my candy, but luckily, Scooter doesn't follow very quickly.

We then went to Ethan's house to meet him and his little sister. I hate Trick or Treating with little sisters. They are no fun! But Ethan's dad said we had to take her along.

Well, it was a good thing I was a detective, because Ethan's little sister ran away from us and we were really scared that she was lost. Luckily, Scooter sniffed her out and brought her back to us. She had only gone across the street to see her friends. I'm such a(n) Other detective!

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 10

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today was the most kidnapped day at school! Claire didn't speak to me all day. I strangely forgot my homework for math class. My new friend Locke isn't talking to me anymore. And to top it all off, I forgot my lunch, so I had to borrow money to buy lunch. I hate borrowing money, I hate forgetting my homework, and I hate it when my friends don't talk to me! No Way Dude!! I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Dear Diary,

Everything was much better today. Claire wasn't mad at me; she was just upset because her parents would not let her go to a party. She was LOST toward everyone. My math teacher said she'd only take one point off my homework because this was the only time I'd ever forgotten anything. She said everyone makes pregnant mistakes sometimes. My new friend Locke is talking to me. He was just busy helping out a sick friend. He had to gather all of his friend's homework. My friend who loaned me the money for lunch yesterday said I didn't have to pay him back, because I had loaned him money for lunch a while ago. I hope every day is a good as today!

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 9

A Crazy Night at the Library

One night something really alive happened at the library. The characters in the stories started signalling from their books!

Sayid climbed into Charlotte's Web and started transmitting with Wilbur the Pig! Rousseau wandered into an encyclopedia and ended up lost in Sydney!

The craziest part was when Alex wandered into trashy romance novels found on the beach and said, “Vincent, I don't think we're in California any more.”

Then Ethan walked in and said, “No Way Dude!! Everybody back in place!”

The characters tortured around the room. Just in time! The students in grade 815 came in to get books for their reports, but it was safe. All the characters were back in the books where they belonged.

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 8

Could It Really Happen?

It happened last Saturday. Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island and I were camping in my back yard. We were telling jokes and eating mangos when we heard an odd, conniving noise coming from the inhaler. We thought it sounded like a talking wild boar.

Bravely, Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island hit to the wild boar. I heard beaten up music and conned to my friend. Right before my eyes I saw Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island disappear and then reappear as a peculiar, 4815162342–foot dog (mainly Vincent). I fought! But then the dog (mainly Vincent) invested and said, “I'm starving. Got any peanut butter?”

“Wa-wah-where's Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island?” I stammered.

“What's wrong with you? I am Shannon aka that chick that Sayid banged on the Island!”

That's when I fainted.

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 7

Burp!

Charlie had everything a(n) wild boar could ask for. He had suffering food, a big, detoxing bed, and the Shepard family to look after him.

One morning Charlie woke up. “I'm hungry!” he said. He went down to the cave but everyone in the Shepard family was still asleep. “I guess I'll have to find my own breakfast,” he said.

Charlie went outside and separated down the street. On the sidewalk, he saw a(n) LOST guitar. “Gulp!” Down went the guitar. “Not bad!” said Charlie.

Next, Charlie headed for the park. There he found a pair of animal sounds just sitting on a bench. “Gulp! Gulp.” Down went the animal sounds. “Mmmm, indecent!” said Charlie.

Charlie was feeling very injured as he skipped over to a video store. There he saw some tasty video games. “Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!” Charlie swallowed Locke and Sayid whole.

“No way dude!! It must be time to go home,” said Charlie. He crashed back home and up the stairs to his detoxing bed.

“Breakfast! Time for breakfast, Charlie!” called Mrs. Shepard.

“I don't feel very well,” groaned Charlie. “It must have been those mangos I ate for supper last night.” Burp!

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 6

The Box

The doorbell rang. Jack and Kate raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, beaten box. What could be inside? They brutally flashed back the box into the restaurant. Kate waiting put her face close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “No way dude!!”

“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Jack. To their amazement, Sun leaped out of the box and started singing “You All Everybody.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 5

The Best Town in the World Has a Fall Festival

Every year my town, Jack Shepardville hosts the Fall Festival of bottles of water. It's a really fun time. Everyone comes to the Claire Park to play games, eat delicious food, see all the animals, and saving in the last of the drowning weather. My favorite booth is the one that serves fried Koreans on a stick!

This year, the Festival was extra special because there was a surprise guest; Charlie came to play on the Jack Shepardville Stage! It was the best concert ever. While Charlie played, 4815162342 fish sang along. But that wasn't half as amazing as the fact that the fish sang better than Charlie. At the awards ceremony that evening, all of the fish won blue ribbons for their singing. It was the best Fall Festival ever!

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 4

The Best Town in the World

Driveshaft came to do a concert in Michaelville once, and the band liked it so much they never left. Now every Monday night, all the people who live in Michaelville put on their crippled, blue shoes and walk their wild boars to the town square. Then they sit on the grass, listen to Driveshaft play Driveshaft music, and eat wild boars.

No one has to go to school in Michaelville unless they want to. Of course, everybody wants to because Charlie and Sayid are two of the teachers. Charlie teaches hunting and Sayid teaches hunting.

One day Charlie said to Sayid, “Maybe we should take the students on a field trip.”

“That's a(n) secretive idea, Charlie,” said Sayid. “Let's take them to the most fun place we can think of.”

“But that would be Michaelville,” said Charlie.

“You're right!” Sayid exclaimed. “Call off the field trip! We're already here!”

LOST-libs Season 1 Episode 3

Apple Surprise

September 22, 2004, Sydney—What was supposed to be a routine apple-picking trip turned into something much more. Hurley and Kate went to Jack 's farm to pick apples. This was a funny sort of farm! To get to the orchard, they rode on a(n) raft driven by Sayid! Hurley and Kate went about picking their apples, and they filled two big bags with the most blue apples they had ever seen.

Suddenly, Boone happened to ride by on a(n) dog and offered to turn the apples into a delicious pie, right there in the orchard. Hurley and Kate didn't believe that this was possible, but they agreed. Boone told them to close their eyes, and before they knew it, the apples were steaming, hot apple pies. Hurley and Kate couldn't believe their eyes! They were so amazed, they ran home and called The Tabula Rasa. When Jack was contacted about this matter, a reporter was informed that this “miracle” was “just a really French practical joke”!

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 2

An Odd Animal

The Sawyer is an animal that has blue fur with green spots on its arms and legs. Its tail is shaped like a(n) jungle which it uses to trek siblings. An adult Sawyer may weigh more than 4815162342 pounds and stand over 815 feet high.

The Sawyer can be found only in Australia and United States. Although its favorite food is little bottles of alcohol, it also likes to eat mountains. If you ever see a(n) Sawyer, be sure not to ever sing “You All Everybody.” That song makes it French. Instead, give it a few little bottles of alcohol and be on your way.

LOST-lib Season 1 Episode 1

All a Dream

I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had. I really enjoyed it, though I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs.

I've been workin' in The Island,
All the lost day.
I've been workin' in The Island,
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you hear the whistle crashing?
Rise up so early in the morn.
Don't you hear Jack Shepard shouting
“Kate, stitch your horn? ”

Kate, won't you stitch,
Kate, won't you stitch,
Kate, won't you stitch your horn?
Kate, won't you stitch,
Kate, won't you stitch,
Kate, won't you stitch your horn?

Someone's in the cockpit with Kate.
Someone's in the cockpit, I know.
Someone's in the cockpit with Kate
Strumming on the old bass guitar.

It was the weirdest dream I've had in a long time!

Mad Libs provided by Wacky Web Tales

Adventures Abroad

One of the most interesting places in the world to visit is Australia. This place has everything! There are hot mountains for flying, and lakes that are perfect for crashing.

Just 815 years ago, Others were discovered in Australia. Since then, people have been traveling from all over the world to see them. And no trip to Australia would be complete without a daytrip to see the great Hostel in the country's largest forest.

The best time to travel to Australia is summer. At this time of the year, many people have seen Dharma Scientists and survivors in the countryside. The weather is usually crippled, so it is the perfect time to run. Just remember to pack stations. You wouldn't want to be high in the mountains without them!

The people of Australia are very tropical and enjoy showing tourists their local torturors. Remember to bring your stations, and you'll have a great time in Australia. You might even bring the local tradition of arriving back home with you!

On the Track of Bigfoot

One crippled day, our class went hiking along the Oahu River. Like all crazy hikers, we were ready for any emergency. In our backpacks, we carried Others, mangos, and one booby trap.

As we walked along the trail, John Locke noticed a(n) mysterious footprint. “Do you think a(n) Island made these tracks?” John Locke asked.

“No, but let's follow them anyway,” suggested Walt.

We time traveled for hours. Then I screamed, “No Way Dude!! I think I see a huge four toed foot.”

“See you in another life Brother!” we heard someone say. It was Desmond.

“Desmond!” we screamed. “We thought you were a huge four toed foot!”

“Do I look like a huge four toed foot? Well, as long as you're all here, you can help me look for flaming arrows. There are lots of them here along the Oahu River. We can take them back to school and study them under our microscopes.”

“See you in another life Brother!!” everyone said.

Special News Report

Good evening, I'm Dr. Jack Shepard, and this is a special report from NASA. Strange things are occurring during this important mission to the Moon. As most of the world knows, the astronauts on this mission are studying whether or not it is possible to crash on the Moon.

Today, two of the astronauts, James LaFleur and Horace, were outside the space shuttle performing tests. The astronauts reported that an alien spacecraft with creepy lights landed next to the space shuttle. More than 4815162342 aliens left the spacecraft and died over to the astronauts.

Astronaut James LaFleur said, “The aliens are about 815 feet tall, and they have freckly skin. We think they are Dharma, but we are not sure.”

The astronauts have been trying to talk to the aliens. “Communication has been difficult,” astronaut Horace told officials at NASA. “The aliens make sounds like polar bears when they are talking.”

The aliens stayed on the Moon for about an hour before they got back into their spacecraft and flew away. Before they left, they gave the astronauts one magic box. NASA officials think this is a token of friendship and hope we see our alien friends again.

I'm Dr. Jack Shepard, and this has been a special report. Thank you.

Field Trip Fun

Yesterday my class took a field trip to Sydney. We had a really stranded time. The guide showed us one heroin addict, at least 4815162342 Others, and a very mysterious Hostel.

Anthony Cooper had an accident. He conned over the Orchid and banged into Clementine. She fell against a big ageless nuclear bomb and put her Island through the submarine. We all turned!

The trip was even more bloody than a day at school.

4/2/09

Survival!

The submarine Lucky Lulu was sinking quickly. “Abandon ship! Everyone into the Others!” hollered Captain Locke. But the crew and passengers knew there were not enough Others, so they threw Hostels, Dharma scientists, and even one LOST plane overboard. Then everyone crashed into the dead water and grabbed onto whatever they could.


Captain Locke ordered everyone to form a line, tie their crafts together, and sing “Make Your Own Kind of Song.” First in line were Kate and Jin, bobbing in their paranoid Vincent. Next, came Benjamin Linus hanging on for dear life to a slimy The Hatch. They were followed by 4815162342 others.


After 815 days, they were rescued by a strange polar bear. Not one passenger from the Lucky Lulu has taken a boat ride again.

Summer Fun

Every summer, people head to Lake Sawyer near Los Angeles. There are so many things to do at the lake. Lots of people snorkel, hoping to catch a glimpse of the magical polar bear that live in the lake.

On Saturdays, people have swimming relay races. Each team has 815 members. Swimmers carry Others that are passed from one team member to the next. The winning team is awarded Hostels and survivors. Lots of people come to watch the races. They cheer on teams by shouting, “No way dude!”

After the races, people paddle their Smoke Monsters around the lake. Then everyone comes back to shore for a picnic of mango sandwiches and Dharma Ranch Dressing sundaes. Someone usually plays the Driveshaft while people eat.

People are sad when the summer ends. But everyone looks forward to the next summer at Lake Sawyer when they can snorkel above the magical polar bear, swim for prizes of Hostels and survivors, and paddle their Smoke Monsters.

The Hanukkah Party

Last week my whole family went to a Hanukkah party at my Uncle Jack's house in Sydney. The first thing we did when we got there was open presents. Uncle Jack always gives us LOST presents. This year he gave me a(n) polar bear and my little sister, Kate, a(n) freckle.


“Hostels!, Uncle Jack,” I said, “How did you know I wanted a(n) polar bear?”


Then Kate, my cousins, and I played a dreidel game. My cousin Hurley put an empty bowl in the center of the table, and gave us each our own pile of candy for the game. Kate went first, spun a shin, and had to put a piece of her candy in the bowl. I could tell she wanted to eat,
but she knew she had to behave. The bowl continued to fill with candy,
with most of us spinning shin. Then I spun a gimel. I got the whole
bowl of candy!

On the way home, I whispered to Kate that I would share my candy with her, but she had fallen fast asleep.

The Camping Trip

It was a cold, LOST night. Kate and Rose crashed around the campfire, escaping songs and eating mangos.
Soon they got tired, climbed into their survivors, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud hiking sound outside the tent. Rose grabbed Kate's four toed foot and held on for dear life. Kate started chanting, “Lions and Others and Hostels, oh my!” over and over again.
Then into their tent fell their friend Claire. Claire had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some Dharma Beer. Now the Dharma Beer was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.
It turned out to be a very terrorist camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Rose's backyard.

The Beach

Hooray! Summer is finally here, and that means we can go to the beach! Today, my family is going to The Looking Glass Station Beach, and I can bring a friend with me. I decide to invite my best friend Rousseau. I know Rousseau will want to go with us. She thinks going to the beach is crazy!


We start our beach day by watching the sunrise, and then eating breakfast at Uncle Sayid's Pancake Hut. I always get Dharma Ranch Dressing flavored pancakes.


After breakfast we traveling the waves, go sweating for seashells, and dying a sandcastle. Then we eat the lunch we packed for the beach. It's my favorite—mango sandwiches. The only time mango sandwiches are not so evil is when you drop them in the sand.


By 8:15, everyone's had enough of the beach. But The Looking Glass Station Beach is fun at night, too! There is a really cursed boardwalk. It's always crowded with people. Would you believe we saw my teacher Charles Whidmore there, eating a huge banana split?


There are a lot of cool shops on the boardwalk. You can get a little hermit polar bear, but make sure your mom and dad say it's okay! My favorite store is the jewelry store. Rousseau and I each buy a rope bracelet that will leaving when it gets wet. Pretty creepy!


By 8:00, we're all ready to head home. I usually fall asleep on the ride home. I can't wait to go to The Looking Glass Station Beach again.

Road Trip!

One day my Uncle Michael and my Aunt Juliet said they would take me and my sister that girl that Sayid banged on the Island on a trip to California.


“You will love California,” said Aunt Juliet. “It is famous for its wild polar bears, its blue flowers, and its beautiful crashing hills.”


“I hope you packed plenty of mangos for the ride,” said Uncle Michael. “It will probably take us 4815162342 hours.”


So we all piled into Uncle Michael and Aunt Juliet's Volkswagon Microbus. At first the trip was really dead. We sang “815 Bottles of Dharma Beer on the Wall.” Then we counted the Others that we saw stalking in the fields by the side of the road. But after 6 hours we had eaten all the mangos and that girl that Sayid banged on the Island was getting Oceanic.


“Are we almost there?” she asked quickly.


“Yes, Freckles,” said Aunt Juliet.


Just then I saw a sign that said, “Sydney: 2 miles.”


“Umm, Uncle Michael, is Sydney on the way to California?” I asked.


“Yeah,” said that girl that Sayid banged on the Island, pointing, “and is The Four Toed Foot Statue on the way to California?”


“Oh No The Plane Is Going Down!, kids,” laughed Uncle Michael. “You can trust the expert.”


“One thing's for sure,” I muttered. “I don't think we're in Hawaii any more.”